🐺💥 THE WEEK IN STREAMING & GAMING — VON WOLF EDITION

🎮 GAMER NEWS

🕹️ Microsoft unlocks "handheld mode" for Windows 11.Finally, your $3,000 gaming rig can act like a $300 Switch!Now you too can enjoy 12 fps and melted thighs from the comfort of your lap. 🧯🔥Perfect for when you want to play Baldur’s Gate 3 on the toilet while pretending you’re a “mobile gamer.”

💀 NetEase keeps Thanos-snapping studios.Another week, another dev team turned to digital dust.At this rate, the only thing NetEase will publish in 2026 is an apology note and a single tumbleweed.

🚀 Battlestar Galactica: Deadlock goes poof.They’re delisting it everywhere — because apparently the Cylons negotiated a better contract.Grab it now before it disappears faster than your FPS when OBS decides to “update.”

🧩 Arc Raiders adds new map conditions.Translation: “Congratulations, you will now die wetter, colder, and with more confusion.”Perfect weekend content for your co-op crew — because who doesn’t love screaming, “WHERE ARE YOU?” while getting vaporized.

🎁 Epic Games drops more free games.You’ll never play them, but your library will look so accomplished.Remember: it’s not hoarding if it’s digital.

📺 STREAMER NEWS

😬 TwitchCon turned into “OopsCon.”After a security nightmare, Twitch apologized and promised donations.Meanwhile, Kick just winked and said, “You good, bro?”If cons had difficulty levels, TwitchCon would be “Dark Souls 4: Please Stop Touching Me Edition.”

💸 Monetization “innovations.”Platforms keep rebranding tips: “stars,” “coins,” “sparkle vibes.”No matter what they call it, it’s still digital ramen money. 🍜💚

🟢 KICK.COM NEWS

🎁 Rust Drops are live!Link your Kick + Steam account to earn exclusive Rust loot while you watch.Because nothing says “community bonding” like screaming at your chat while a naked man with a rock kills you.Pro tip: advertise your stream as “Rust with benefits.” 😏

✅ Kick Verification update!Want that shiny green checkmark?Kick says:

• 15 hours streamed 🕒

• 50 average viewers 👀

• 100 unique chatters 💬

• 10 subs 💚

• And, apparently, the blood of a verified streamer under a full moon. 🌕

Even if you qualify, it’s manual review — so light a candle, howl to the algorithm, and pray to the RNG gods. 🙏🐺

🧠 WOLF WISDOM OF THE WEEK

• Stream from a handheld PC. Look like a hacker. Play like a potato.

• Epic free games = free dopamine.

• Don’t start drama. Sue everyone if you do.

• Rust drops bring viewers faster than tacos bring friends. 🌮

• If TwitchCon happens again, bring bubble wrap.

• Remember: verify your soul before your Kick account.